OOC: Tibs is on, we just don't feel like switching accounts. The laziness. It burns.
IC: Vlad allowed a small smile to play across his face for a moment. "How's Tibs's baby doing? And sorry she's been sorta neglectful. Daniel's just always been that way. He's a little...spacey."
'The baby? Fine, I suppose. I mean, Tibs is barfing and eating and peeing all the time...always complaining about headaches...Yes, I expect that the baby is rather healthy. I know I should've stopped her, but there was no way. She brought it on herself, but she'll tough it out. She gets herself into messes all the time. She'll be fine, and hopefully the baby too. She wants to name it Anna-October. It's a tastey name, if you ask me,' she answered. 'Daniel and Tibs didn't have lives, and they were stuck with us...and now it's you, me, and Gedway. And Gedway is a fat tub of lard.'
"I thought I could smell another cat here. And he's a tub of lard? If we get hungry we can eat him, I suppose, so he's fairly useful," Vlad meowed. He rolled over on his back and stretched out his front legs as far as he could, flexing his long, sharp claws in the air. He yawned, opening his mouth extremely wide and pulling his lips back. "Do you know how to get outside?" he asked, longing for a bit of adventure.
'Easy!' she meowed. She hopped up and motioned with her tail for him to follow. She went to the doors of the lounge, and she started yeowling, as if in pain, trying to attract attention. Someone finaly came, picked her up, and threw her outside, forcing her to land on her big paw, the right front one. She screamed in real pain, and as the door opened, Vlad trotted out. Arya looked at her paw, and magled and in pain, but she shook it off. Tibs would freak out and fix it later. Now was outside time. 'Damn sun!' she whined. She didn't like the sun, just because it reminded her of happiness, which, in her eyes, was completely unpleasent. Arya sprinted across the feilds and through the grove, into the thickest part of the woods with Vlad right behind her. 'Stupid human! Who was she to do that?! Pick me and and throw me! Hmph! How disgraceful.'
Vlad sprinted under a tree and got there a bit after Arya. "You're fast," he said. "And it was that one gay guy, the one who kept interrupting Daniel while he was listening to music.... and other such activities. He threw you. And are you all right?"
'Terri...These claws are going into his eyeballs,' she said, unsheathing her claws. She shifted her weigh onto his special paw, and she winced. 'Ow, f*ck, ow!' she groaned. She shuddered. 'I'm fine. Anway, I'll go find Tibs, and she'll murder him for doing it,' she said, shrugging. She curled her tail around and tapped Vlad's chin with it. 'Now, back to what's important. What do you want to do?'
'There is...I can swim. Don't like to. I wade, rather than swim, but I happen to be capable of swimming. Oh, the best part of the river.... Gedway and I used to go there, before he got all fat and stupid. Jake got 'im fixed. He doesn't do squat now. Follow.' She skipped crookedly to the middle of the forest, and there the river cut through it. She smiled and sat where the water just barely wet her paws. 'I don't think it's even possible for you to have to go see the doctor from Hell, and Tibs won't take me, thank tuna. I don't wanna be a cusion kitty.'
"Wait.... Fixed like testicals REMOVED fixed?! Thats disgusting! He wasn't a virgin before they did it was he?! Ugh! I can't even imagine that! It's awful! To die a virgin! I hope Daniel never gets me fixed!"
'I don't think he would...Yeah, he was a virgin before they did it. He definately wanted Kimee, Terri's cat, but she's a skank and a slut. She's had, like, 4 litters already. I've not even had one, although I have no intention of getting knocked up. Unless I feel like it, but that's hard to imagine. I'm just waiting on the right tom to come along and stuff. But that's every she-cat's dream. Not that you would know, being a tom and whatnot,' she said. Then she snickered. 'Poor Gedway!'
"What, you think that I would just impregnate any she cat that came strolling along even if I didn't care for her what-so-ever? That would never happen. I'm not THAT much of a perv."
'You don't seem like it. You're far too good for that. But it's different for she-cats. I don't know how, but it is, somehow. Anyway, you're not a perv to begin with,' she answered.
She raised an eyebrow, leapt at him, and bowled him over. 'Running over you is like running into a brick wall, but softer,' she said, as if it made sense. She got off of him. 'You can't be a perv. We'd be at it already if you were a perv. And i totally would've, like, you know, like, fallen for you already you if were. I'm dumb,' she admitted. 'I bond too easily, and i trust anyone who hasn't killed me a little bit inside yet. This makes me dumb, and this maks you not a perv.'
"And if I was to make a move? What then? And I might have dozens of kits somewhere in Scotland or Italy. Or both.... You just can't be positive, now can you?" He rubbed his flank softly against hers and purring in a very perv-like manor.
'And what if I have them in Manhattan or...Mexico? I could be all, ay, papi! and it would be the creepiest damned thing you ever heard in your life! I have just as much of a chance of being a perv as you do, really,' she said mischieveously. She put her giant yellow eyes on full blast. 'I doubt you have the Irish kits...and maybe a half-dozen in Scotland. You're not bad looking...but you know, you're telling me you're not a virgin,' she said.
Vlad looked at his paws awkwardly and said, "Well, I am a virgin. And I'm hardly good looking. You're definately better looking than I am. A loy, actually. And you're not the type to abandon your kits. Or lose your virginity to some random tom that you didn't care enough for to stay with. And I would suspect that you didn't. And you've been to Mexico?"
'I have, actually, a long time ago. I can't remember anything except that everyone had marjauna...good times,' she said. She ignored his comment on her good looks. She hardley found herself good looking, especially with this VLadamir in comparison.
'You're very right! But beneful is best if you wanna feel high...purina is complete crap,' she said with a short sigh. 'Seriously, it's plain and flat-out disgusting, purina is. beneful is good... You can have it blended dry and snuff it,'
'I understand. My Tibby had OCD, like really bad. She cried once because a picture on the wall wouldn't stay straight. She seriously wept for a good 20 minutes!' she said, eyes wider than usual.
'It's not that great.' She pawed him in the side. 'Yours is rather floofy. I like floofy. I also like green, and black, and other stuff... Oooohh!! You're all of the above!' he said, grinning psychotically.
"I hate being floofy. It makes me look femenine," he smiled. "Oh dear. It seems it would be around midnight. I must go supervise Daniel. He tends to get a little blood lust around this time of night. Well, farewell. I'll see you later," Vlad said.
As much as she hated it, she bid him adieu, and she headed off into Tibs' room. She mewed pathetically, and she showed her her magled paw. She gave her sad eyes, an Tibs picked her up and kissed her. "Poor baby! Are you ok? What happened, Arya?" she asked. 'Fine. Terri threw me out a door,' she whined. 'Can you fix it?' Tibs fixed it magically, and she kissed Arya's paw. "BEtter now?" 'Much. Thank you, Tibs," she said in a feathery voice. "I have to go muder Terri. You stay with GEdway. ok?" 'NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!' But Tibs was gone, screaming down the hall at Teri.
'Hi, Gedway,' she said, bored. 'Hiya,' came his reply. 'REtard.' 'Idiot.' 'Meano.' 'Food-stealer!' 'OH, you went there! How I wish I could sink my teeth into you..I can;t hurt you. You suck, fatty," she whined. 'Sticks and stones, Arya,' he chimed.
Vlad phased through the door and saw Arya. "Hey," he said. "What's all the rumpus? Was he messing with you?" he said, glaring up at Gadway, the fur on his back standing on end. "Oh, shiz! You're bleeding! What did you DO?!" He shrieked at Gedway, praparing to leap at him and claw his eye balls out of his head while Jake was still holding him. He had forgotten that Jake could hear and understand everything he said.
__________________
"She's beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won." -Henry IV; act 5, scene 2. "You have witchcraft in your lips." -Henry V; act 5, scene 2
Jake held Gedway closer. "Stop! What did you do, Gedway?" he asked. 'It's not your business, is it?' he said snarkily. "The fribble it isn't!" 'She called me stupid, so i told her to cry to her boyfriend and scrathcered hr shoulder,' he admitted bitterly. "Gedway! That's bad! No! You do NOT! You're going to the bathroom. Let's go. To my room. I'm locking the bathroom door, and that's where you're going, mister," he said, talking to him like an actual cat. 'You suck!' he gasped. Jake carried him off.
Arya started to lick her shoulder. 'I'm fine,' she said. 'That idiot.'
__________________
"She's beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won." -Henry IV; act 5, scene 2. "You have witchcraft in your lips." -Henry V; act 5, scene 2
"You are not fine! You're dripping on the floor! I wouldn't call that fine! And who's your boyfriend? I wasn't aware that you had one," he said, seriously not getting it.
'I don't have one,' she said quietly. 'And I AM fine. I just need to...clean this up, although Tibs is somewhere- I have no idea where- and Jake kinda just left. Ew. You're right, I am dripping.' She started licking her shoulder again. 'Do you know what I can do with this? It refuses to stop bleeding,' she said.
He pressed his nose onto her scratch hard, and Arya winced. "Just keep pressure on it for a bit," he said, licking her blood off of his nose and then saying, "I have to go. Daniel always gets a little...emotional around this time of night." He gave her ear an effectionate lick. "Bye."
'I do! Can we go? I don't like the looks. We could go to Tibs' room. Or the lounge.Whatever. Anywhere but here. Jake's giving me that same look he got when he found out that Tibs was pregnant, except that he almost looks angry with me. Come on,' she said. She headed off to Tibs' room with Vladamir following behind her. She meowed at the door, and Tibs opened it. "Oh, hi, Arya, Vladamir," she said. Arya greeted her, rubbed against her legs, and returned to Vlad. She gave Tibs a look of a kind of "say-nothing" look, and tibs immeadiatly understood. She smiled and left them in the room by themselves. Arya stroked Vladamir's side with her tail. 'Aaaaaand welcome to Tibby's room. I wouldn't reccommend sitting on her bed, really. She doesn't like me up their when she's not in, because she's scared that I'll jump off and kill myself. Join me on the couch? It's very suade,' she said.
"Woah. Suade. Coolio." He jumped up on the couch with her and licked her ear effectionately and moved closer, resting his head on her shoulder. "Woah," Vlad said, "You're comfy-OLY CRAP! I smell cat nip! Do you have any?"
"Somewhere...I think I can...UNDER THE BED!" she said, full of excitement. Sh went under the bed, and she dragged the kitty nip out from under the bed. "HELLS YEAH! Do you want some of this?" she asked, hunching over to start attacking it.
"Well of course yeah!" They started to sniff, eat, and roll around in the kitty nip, and after a bit, they were fairly wacked out. Vlad was waaay more so; he wasn't stumbling or mumbling or anything, he just wasn't himself. He pushed Arya over onto her back and stood over her, almost menacingly and said, "You know, you look pretty cute right now....Baby."
'Nice of you to say so, Mr. Sexy Kitty,' she said. She giggle, and she turned Vlad over on his back. She loomed over him, and she licked his head. 'This is really good cat nip... It's like Mary Jayne. IT's a shame that we're TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY not whacked out right now,' she giggled.
Vlad looked up at her and said, "You might not be, but who's to say that that cat nip might push me to do things that I would never do sober?" He licked her nose.
She giggled again. 'Ohhh, you have a point,' she purred. She growled in a totally provacative growlie voice, that she hoped would egg on Vladamir to do the things the he claimed not to do sober. She wanted what he wouldn't do sober. She craved it.
Arya sat on the couch with her head on Vlad's back. She was still rather giddy and excited...and a bit whacked out on cat nip, but, hey, you can't have everything.
He looked at her confusedly and said, "What are you appologising for? It's true. My virginity is now in your posession. And yours is in mine, so HA!" He was just as wacked out, if not more. "I've gotta go puke," he told her. "I'll see you later, hotness." He headed toward Daniel's room.
